Raising Christians and not Pharisees

by PJ Keen, October 6th, 2022.

Hey, I know. Being a parent is hard work. You obviously care about your kid's faith, or you wouldn't be reading this. However, let me encourage you to look past reading the Bible together and praying together as a family (which I pray you do now). Let's look at how we teach our kids to be like Christ. 

    Believe it or not, you are the most significant influencer in your kid's life. What you eat, what you say, how you treat people, and so much more are all picked up and copied by your kids at some point. That is terrifying, I know! I feel it as an imperfect dad/husband. But don't be discouraged. God has chosen you in your imperfection to raise kids for His glory. So, how do you raise your kids to live like Christ and not be practical "Pharisees"? 


    First, let's talk about Pharisees. The Pharisees were a group of Jewish religious leaders who put the law before everything (Matthew 23:23). Not only that, but they added to the law. They would build fences around a law so it could not be broken. By doing this, they were missing the whole point of the law. They were considered the holiest people at that time. They also saw themselves in this light. The Pharisees intentionally separated themselves from the people and society because of their religious views. We see in Matthew 9:11 that the Pharisees were appalled by Jesus even spending time with sinners. "When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?" See, Jesus and the Pharisees both followed the law. However, they could not be more opposite in how they lived it out daily. 


So, how do we raise kids who act like Jesus instead of Pharisees? 

"Teacher, which command in the law is the greatest?"

He said to him, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands." - Matthew 22:36-40 CSB


1) Teach them to put God first. The Pharisees acted as if they put God first, but in reality, they were prideful and wanted recognition for following the law. Teach your kids to love God, even when it's hard. There isn't always a pat on the back when you do the right thing. Following God will not always be easy or fun. But our reward is not on this earth. As parents, we should live our lives in a way that models this truth for our children. Matthew 22:37-38, Luke 11:39, Matthew 16:24-26



2) Teach them to love first. Teach your kids that everyone is made in the image of God. We are called to love our neighbors as ourselves. There are no exceptions to who we should love. Scripture is clear that our neighbor means everyone. Jesus ate with sinners. How do we associate with the lost? Do associate with the lost at all? Or are we living comfortably in our Christian circles and avoiding relationships with those who are different from us? How will the world know unless we go to the world and tell them? First love people, share the gospel, and then let the Holy Spirit change that person through sanctification. Love people like Jesus does. Mark 12:31, Luke 11:39, John 4, John 8:1-11, Luke 19:1-10



Christians don't intend to act like Pharisees, but if we aren't careful, we separate ourselves from the lost entirely and forget to live out the gospel. Just as nonbelievers need the gospel, we STILL need the gospel every day of our lives. You are your kid's biggest influence. Live these commandments out in front of them just as Jesus did, and pray they grow to look like Christ and not like practical Pharisees. I'm praying for you and this wonderful gift of time you get to spend with your kids. 


All Scripture is taken out of the CSB translation